The Saturnalian has obtained the unfinished part two of Nathan Norman‘s Functional Fillmore Frugal movement treatise. Though Norman intended to release his treatise in four parts, only part one was ever released publicly before the movement ceased this past September. IPR published part one in June 2013. According to Norman, he started writing part two shortly after the publication, but became distracted with other projects and did not finish it. As reported here, Norman’s movement ended when WordPress discovered he had been using his Functional Fillmore Frugal blog to store bisexual pornography. Norman has given The Saturnalian permission to publish part two of the treatise for the first time ever. The Saturnalian does not necessarily endorse the views expressed in this commentary.
Remember Millard Fillmore
The following is Part II of the four part treatise of the Functional Fillmore Frugal Movement (FFFM)
When I was a young boy in school, I used to study a chart on the wall listing all the Presidents. I grew interested in the men on this chart, and wondered what their lives were like. Out of curiosity, I checked out Presidential biographies from my school library. I tried to follow in order, but when I arrived at the 13th president, I was mystified. Though he was listed in encyclopedias and reference books, the entries were scant and there was no single biographical work on him. I thought to myself: who was this Millard Fillmore individual? Why was he not as important as all the other Presidents?
In a search for answers, I approached the school librarian. She informed me that the presidential biographies were in a series, but a mentally retarded child had destroyed the Millard Fillmore book. When asked if it would ever be replaced, she shook her head, but volunteered to take me to the public library down the street to continue my research.
After we arrived, I found a book on Fillmore, and checked it out. As I was about to take it away, I noticed something disturbing. I saw an elderly Mexican man standing with a broom in the corner taking a verbal beating from a library worker. I asked the worker who had just checked out my book, why this man was being treated so badly. She told me he was nothing but a “lazy wetback” caught sleeping on the job.
I didn’t think much of what I saw. It was common to see Mexican laborers in town, and many times they were disrespected like this.
When I got home, I delved into the life of Millard Fillmore.