Nathan Norman posted the following on Citizen Norman’s Blog December 28, 2014. It is believed to be satire and should not be confused with the genuine views expressed in the Commentary section.
Yesterday I went to the tattoo parlor. I gave them the design [see earlier story]. They asked if I had drawn the design on my penis with a marker. I had not but they said it would make it easier for them so I took off my pants and underwear and one of their artists got ready to draw. I was also told I needed to be erect first, so I did what needed to be done and then the artist started drawing the design with a marker as his assistant held the glans.
As this was going on, a beautiful woman with flawless porcelain skin and long blonde hair walked in and asked to get a tattoo on her abdomen. She removed her top and took off her bra, revealing two large, natural DD breasts. It was an amazing sight. Topless, she glanced at my penis and smiled. I thought to myself why such a beautiful, aesthetically pleasing Aryan woman would want to mark up her flawless body. I then looked at my penis and had the same thought. Why would I want to mark up my aesthetically pleasing Aryan penis?
Suddenly, as I looked upon the Aryan woman once more, I started ejaculating uncontrollably. I guess it was a mix of the handling, the nervousness, and seeing the beautiful Aryan woman that set me off. Plus I hadn’t ejaculated since Monday when my masseuse friend Steve gave me a full massage. The Aryan woman saw what I had done and laughed playfully. The artist and the employees got upset and threw me out. The owner said I was banned for life.
As I walked away, the Aryan woman, now fully clothed came up to me and acted apologetic for the way I was treated inside. She introduced herself as Angela (Angela the Aryan). I told her how I thought it was such a shame to mark up something so aesthetically pleasing. She agreed tepidly. I then noticed she was wearing a cross necklace. Suddenly, it dawned upon me. My admiration of Rand Paul was interfering with my faith in God. I remembered Leviticus 19:28, “‘Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord.”
I repeated this to Angela the Aryan, and she looked shocked. She did not know the Bible banned tattoos. But now it all made since. Tattoos ruin natural beauty and may cause harm in the form of infection. As I have always professed, God’s law in the Bible protects the public health. Thankfully, He sent Angela to me so I could understand this point.
Angela gave me her digits and we will do something together soon. I cannot wait to see her beautiful, flawless, tattoo-free Aryan body in the nude once more. I believe she feels the same way about my aesthetically pleasing, tattoo-free Aryan penis.