2016 Presidential Candidate Advertises Personal ‘Masturbation Show’ on Campaign Website

Robert Milnes, a 2016 candidate for the Green and Libertarian parties’ presidential nominations advertised on his campaign website Friday that he will be holding “Solo Male Masturbation Shows” in his RV next week.  Milnes said the shows will be live streamed on “The Dark Web” from 4 am to 9 am and 12:00 to 12:30 pm Monday through Friday, corresponding with the working schedules of his favorite TV news reporters.

As previously covered here last year, Milnes believes technology has been developed to enable the FBI and TV news reporters (among others) to surveil his activities through his television set.  He suspects that this is due to his status as a third party presidential candidate with a strategy to win the election.  He tests the theory by masturbating to TV news coverage.

Initially, Milnes offered only “Freudian slips, body language, and acculturation” as evidence for the technology.  However, he has recently brought forth further evidence as explained on his campaign website:

My favorite [news anchors to masturbate to include] Jillian Mele . . .  Erika von Tiehl and Norah O’Donnell.

One of my favorite takes was when Jillian Mele ejaculated “Oh, my Goodness!” when I was ejaculating!

Another was when Erika opened the news program she usually says “Hello, I’m Erika von Tiehl.” On this occasion I just happened to wave and she said, “Hello, I’m Erika.” Like I was right in front of her, naked, waving. And she was spontaneously introducing herself to me.

As for Norah, there has been so many takes. I’ve gotten to the point of just staring and drooling, she is so pretty. Kind of skinny and flat chested, though.

Jillian Mele

Erika von Tiehl


Norah O’Donnell






According to Milnes, anyone interested in watching his masturbation shows can do so by contacting the NSA, the Defense Intelligence Agency, the U.S. military, Homeland Security Department, the FBI, Mossad, or various news agencies.


18 thoughts on “2016 Presidential Candidate Advertises Personal ‘Masturbation Show’ on Campaign Website

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