The following is satire and should not be confused with the genuine views expressed in the Commentary section.
Famed and controversial Reverend Alberto Medvedev called a press conference this morning in which he demanded the Libertarian Party change its legal name to the “Third Party of Power” to secure electoral victory in the upcoming 2016 presidential election.
“This is a grand opportunity for the Libertarian Party to not only secure the presidency for its candidate but also to win at least forty-seven seats in the United States House of Representatives,” said Reverend Medvedev.
“I am immediately calling upon Wayne Allyn Root, the leader of the Libertarian Party, to officially change the party’s name to the ‘Third Party of Power!’”
Medvedev believes that if voters saw the name “Third Party of Power” on the ballot they would be unable to restrain themselves from voting for that candidate.
“Had that been the party’s name during the 2008 presidential election,” Reverend Medvedev notes, “a recent study shows that Bob Barr would have received approximately 25.7 percent of the vote.”
Medevedev believes that Wayne Root, the leader of the Libertarian Party, will agree with his strategy. Reverend Medvedev also suggested, while a member of the highly successful US Labor Party, that the organization change its name to the “Winning Party,” a move that was seriously considered by the Labor Party leadership.
Last fall, Medevedev tried unsuccessfully to file paperwork to rename the defunct New Jersey Natural Law Party to “Ice Cream Party,” a move which he believed would revitalize the failing organization. The NJ Secretary of State denied his request, citing the fact the party had not held a convention and voted on the name-change. He later unsuccessfully attempted to file paperwork to again change the name to the “Om nom nom Ice Cream Party.”
Medvedev, who was widely speculated to be the Ice Cream Party’s presidential candidate, withdrew from the Natural Law Party shortly thereafter, condemning it as “being lonely…since I was the only member.”
Activists urged Medvedev to join the Libertarian Party, and several prominent figures asked his advice on how to garner more votes. His suggestion, to change the name to the “Third Party of Power,” has been VERY well received by several Libertarian National Committee members.
Medvedev has threatened to contact Constitution Party or Reform Party leadership to pitch his idea if the Libertarians fail to abide by his suggestion.
Rev Alberto Medvedev regularly commented at the Independent Political Report (IPR) in the Summer of 2011. He gave The Saturnalian permission to reprint his comments. Out of historical interest, they are reprinted here with minimal editing for understanding and context.